My name is Joshua. I am 33 years old. I am a successful business executive in a small firm in Chennai. Orphaned at an early age, living alone with contention and few distant relatives is my personal profile.

I am a busy seller with tight schedules. Life has kept me busy, stumbling, getting up, dusting off and moving ahead. Loosing all my time in these, I did not find time and a good reason to get married.

I used to wonder as to why my stumbles are catastrophic. But, luckily I have the might to get up again and move on. I am still moving ahead in life and climbing the corporate growth ladder. Someone nicely put “if failure is the first step to victory, which step is actually victory”.

Amidst all the frustrations life gives and all the lessons it teaches the only peace of mind was Bhavana. Bhavana was my class mate during my part time post graduation. I was 23 then. I was staying in a shared accommodation in Triplicane. I had been working as a sales executive for a telephone marketing company. During day it would be long motor cycle rides from T – Nagar to every corner of the city selling telephones. In the evenings I would attend college. I was trying to improve my business skills through this part time business program. Casual acquaintances with Bhavana brought us close as good friends. Within few weeks we realized that we were a little more than good friends. The thin line between us vanished.

Bhavana’s dad was running a small firm and quite successful in his business. We went to Marina beach everyday after class. We spent 45 minutes talking about each other, the plans for future. The more we understood each other, the more we liked each other and the more we liked each other, the bond was growing stronger. When you marry someone, you should be able talk to your partner for long hours. That’s what you can do when you get old. I believed in that.

Often I had my own thoughts about how this marriage would go. Will it be acceptable? Bhavana had a big family with two brothers and their families. Bhavana used to console me whenever I had this question. She used to comfort me. She consoled me. She will put her arms around my shoulder and say “there are only 3 days in a month which will keep me away from you”. I smiled a little with wet eyes.

Being without mom and dad for around fourteen years had created a black hole in my life. Bhavana filled every inch of it with joy, love, happiness and kisses. Bhavana! Bhavana! How I admired you?

We finished our graduation. She had flunked in a paper. I had good results. After the results she approached her father for this marriage. After three months of her strong determination, she gave in.

The girl who said only three days could separate us now says that the religion is separating us. Time flies. After 6 years, I still see that no one has filled her place.

No one filled the black hole created by her. I felt cheated. For all that I had done for her she never turned back at me! She said “I came to say bye to go!”

Today, I was waiting in queue in the US Embassy for my visa. I remembered her instantly when I saw her at a distance. What is she doing here? She was the same. I hid myself. I tried to avoid her. I was confused. I wanted to leave as early as possible. But the visa interview was today.

After few hours I walked out and lighted my cigarette. Some one called me “hey Josh”. I knew it was her. I dropped the cigarette. I am hearing her calling me “Josh” after so many years. In fact, after so many years some is calling me Josh. I could not keep myself composed. But I did my best and stood calm. She came near me and a small boy was holding her hand.

“Hi Josh. How are you?”. “I am fine”, I said. I had to force a smile. Her last words years back were going through my senses. I looked at the boy.

“Josh, his name is Selva. He is my son”. “Say ‘Hi’ to uncle” she told her son. I smiled uncomfortably at her. “Hello Uncle” said the boy. “Hi Selva. How are you?” I pinched his cheek and said “Nice shirt”.

The kid who is supposed to call me dad is calling me uncle. Should I call this fate or luck? I feel they both are related. She spoke for the next fifteen minutes about her married life, her husband’s accomplishments. I listened.

Then she took a deep breath and said “I had a wish to marry you and it was never fulfilled. After Selva was born I wanted to name him ‘Joshua’. But my relatives did not accept it as it was a Christian name”.

I left. I thought to myself “is this some kind of joke. She loved me and did not marry me and now she says she wanted to name her son with my name. What would she do if she had a daughter?” Funny world. Funny people.

I came home and my home was suddenly empty. Living alone for so many years in this home, I never felt empty. I wanted to cry out loud. I wanted shout her name out.

The next day, my manager was shocked. He said, you can’t do this now. Your visa is under process. It could jeopardise the project. But I firmly shook my head and walked out of his room. I was able to hear him say “let’s work it out Joshua”. My colleague asked me “Macha are you sure?”

I called up the newspaper agency and the gazette officer for appointment.

The next day, I signed the declaratory affidavit and signed the other forms. The officer asked me “are you going to convert?” I said “no”.

Then they stuck the notice on the board. “Here by this gazette office declares that the son of ….. named Joshua has changed his name to “Selva” from today. This is also approved by the gazette office”

All my wishes never came true. At least she has one wish fulfilled. By me! The least I could do for her.